40 Day Homestuck Writing Challenge
by Rumbellove
Summary: Originally 40 days Homestuck drawing challenge but I have the drawing ability of a cow with no spine. Will update every day for forty days with a one-shot with at least 500 words. T because swearing. Mostly fluff but it really depends on my mood.
1. Chapter 1

Your name is DAVE STRIDER and being stuck on this meteor is starting to get on your goddamn nerves. Doing nothing, going nowhere. Despite your appearance, and basically everything about the way you present yourself suggests that spending the next two years, eleven months, six days, aaaaand thirteen hours on a rock with six aliens and your ecto-sister wouldn't be that bad. But Jegus Christ are you going insane! No, you were never one for the great outdoors, but is it wrong to want a little non-artificial sun once in a while? And on the subject of missing earth things, you've been trying to alchemize some AJ for the past month and IT. IS. NOT. WORKING. Well, at least can town is thriving with the help of Terezi and yourself. Currently, you are in the common room, flopped into a bean chair, you know it's high time for you to get some food into but you don't have the willpower right now to propel yourself up and out of the room.

"D4V3 D4V3 1 JUST ALCH3M1Z3D ON3 OF YOUR HUM4N 4PPLES W1TH ROS3" You jump up at this, a rush of adrenaline coming to your head, dashing down the halls past Karkat to the room with the alchemizer. You stand in the doorway, exhausted, where you see Rose about to take a bite. You dive into the room snatching the apple out of her hand.

"NO!" You shout at her a bit more dramatically than necessary whilst looking into her eyes with a hot, red fire burning in your eyes so fiercely you could almost see it through your shades. Rose looks taken aback and a bit amused at your outburst. She steps away from you and puts her hands up in mock surrender.

"Fine, fine, have the apple, jeez, it only took eleven grist to make!" You don't hear her as you are too busy rummaging through your sylladex for exactly what you want, EUREKA! A bottle of plain old water, place them both in the alchemizer and VOILA! Your beloved apple juice, at last, your one true love. You may only think of the crispness of the taste once it reaches your mouth cavity, the feeling in your throat as it trickles its way down towards your stomach. You pay the small price of 50 grist for a bottle of the sweet substance. You crack the bottle open and tip your head up, bringing it to your mouth and chug the whole thing in less than two minutes whilst not only Terezi and Rose watch, but Kanaya and Karkat also. You seem to have gained quite the audience and after you finish the last drop you exhale and catch your breath. You look around at your friends, your peers, daring them to say a word to you. You walk out of the room, really, truly not giving a damn as your friends laugh their asses off at you. Your name is Dave Strider, and you have achieved true happiness.


	2. Chapter 2

Day two: Favourite guardian: Dad Egbert

Your name is Dad Egbert, why in the HELL would your parents name you Dad? YOU DON'T EVEN WANT KIDS. Even though you don't want kids, you absolutely adore old people, your mother taught you everything you know about your passion. Comedy. Currently, you work at Prankster's Gambit and it's a part-time job whilst you figure just what you're doing with your life. You work there with your loving mother who has been passed down the shop from her mother and her mother before that. You just got off work and are ready to PAR-TAY with some of your college friends… except not really, you are going to go home and go to bed even though it's only seven thirty. Got to get that sleep in!

You close the door to your apartment and get into your pyjamas, just settling into bed you hear a crash outside your window, going to investigate at your window, you see smoke emitting from the general area of prankster's gambit. OH SHIT your mother may be caught in a fire!

Abandoning the idea of getting into non-pyjamas, you bolt down to your car and drive to the shop only to find a massive meteor crater sitting in its place, looking further, you see your mother's clothing lying in the crater. Tears coming to your eyes, you pick up the ash found beside it into your pocket. On the bright side, free cremation? Oh, who are you kidding she was so old she was about to have a heart-attack anyway, at least she died doing what she loved. You look around for any other relics to maybe sell on eBay when you find a baby, A FUCKING BABY just chilling out in the crater. Okay, yeah, you hate kids, but this one HAD to be radioactive or something to survive this, you were going to raise a goddamn superhero.

"Hey little buddy" you say, strolling over to the surprisingly silent youngster. Picking him up and taking him home, buying baby supplies on the way, after feeding him and putting him to sleep, you contemplate what changes you'd have to make for this small human. Getting a serious, office job was a must, as was buying a house, and dropping all that prankster clown shit.

After a week of caring for the kid, you considered yourself a parenting expert, what with all the books and internet articles you read. Finally, you decided the kid needed a name, he was a superhero, you knew that, but how hilarious would it be if a radioactive superhuman had a boring name like… John? Yeah, that's the name.

…

Years later and John is ten, going into fifth grade, and to be honest, you sort of forgot the whole "I'm raising a superhero" about six years ago when you started growing up a bit more, and he didn't show any powers. Recently he's started drawing clowns on the walls of his bedroom, why not embrace his odd infatuation? You dig out all your old harlequin dolls and place them around the house, showing him you care about his interests, he hasn't talked with you about it but you're sure he'll come around.

He made some internet friends and they see nice enough, you've only read a few of his pesterlogs to ensure they weren't creepers but they're good as far as you can tell. At school he has trouble making friends, teachers suspect autism, you know they're wrong. He's just not that sort of kid.

…

It is John's thirteenth birthday, you've baked many cakes for the occasion, though he doesn't seem to want to eat them. Heaven knows why. He seems eager to get playing that new game and- HOLY SHIT WHERE ARE YOU? You seem to have transported to a black abyss, looking out the window you see John destroying imps.

…

You've been on quite the journey and now seem to be taking a load off with a nice lady you met, suddenly, a dog-sort thing appears next to you. Before you can even think you are overcome with pain, stabbed in the heart, what a way to go. Your last thought before you black out is John, god you hope he's doing alright. God, you hope he survives.


	3. Chapter 3

day three: Favourite Beta troll, Eridan (oops don't murder me)

Your name is Eridan Ampora and you are absolutely fucking done with this bullshit trolling thing Karkat has put you up to. Truthfully, you don't care for any of these "humans" they don't have horns and to be honest they all seem like complete weaklings and you're surprised they got passed grubhood without getting culled. Are all humans like this? Or is this a special case? To be honest, you've only talked to the Rose human but judging from your skim of their timelines, you can clearly see you are the superior race in every sense. But alas, they are inescapable. Fucking everywhere. Might as well change to a human that is obviously not a complete fraud, like the "magic" welding Rose human. Magic isn't real and everybody knows that.

You decide to fixate on the Dave human, the one Terezi is currently infatuated with. You've never seen someone so proud of their mutant blood colour. Taking a more careful look through his timeline, you decide his human lusus brother was the more like a lusus than a human guardian. Only ever handing things to him when absolutely needed. Scrolling further up his timeline and choosing a spot relatively close to the scratch.

(CaliginousAquarium started trolling TurntechGodhead)

CA: hey

TG: this seems to be a new one, never even heard of this troll before

CA: yeah wwell I'vve only talked to the rose human before you're all like complete and utter frauds if you're anythin like her.

TG: what? rose? she's cool i don't know what you're talking about

CA: wwhatevver

CA: wwhy do you flaunt your blood colour like that it can have you culled you knoww

TG: i don't understand

CA: wwell i hear you're the human that busts out some "sick beats"

TG: i have been known to bust a rhyme now and then

CA: fine then, i challenge you to a rap battle

TG: fine ill go first

TG:I got that apple juice

TG:All hell done broke loose

TG:Azaleas rhododendrons flowering shrubs pennsylvania pictures

TG: fucking kingdom hearts action figures

CA: wwhat

TG: your turn

CA: you knoww wwhat? fuck this and fuck you

(CaliginousAquarium stopped trolling TurntechGodhead)

TG: fucking baby cant handle these rhymes

You huff, could this be blackrom? Maybe. Actually, no, this was DEFIANTLY blackrom. Take THAT Sollux, one quadrant down, three to go. You stride over to the horn pile where Sollux and Feferi are talking about feelings.

"Guess wwhat sol?" you say, a smug grin plastered on your face. 'I just filled one of my quadrants". Sollux… laughs? That is NOT the reaction you were expecting, you were expecting a mustard yellow to fill his face in embarrassment that he ever doubted you.

"Uhm okay CA bye" he waves at you condescendingly. You frown, this kind of treatment would NOT be tolerated. You bite your lip and puff your chest out, forgetting Feferi was even there.

"NO! howw dare you doubt me, soon i wwill havve all my quadrants filled" you assert. He looks taken aback, serves the asshole right.

"S)(UT UP!" Feferi pipes up, a look of pure anger dwelling in her face. "W-E DONT WANT TO KNOW ABOUT YOUR QUADRANTS!" Your eyes grow wide, violet tears prickling in them. "-EV-ER SINC-E I BROK-E UP WIT)( YOU YOU'V-E DON-E NOT)(ING BUT )(ARRAS ME!" You bite your lip so hard it bleeds and run off to cry in your respiteblock on this blasted ship.

Fuck Fef, fuck Sollux. But most of all, fuck life.


End file.
